Purpose or Passion

The last several months I have believed that I had a calling, but not quite sure what it might be. As a pastors wife, you walk in your current situation as if it is your calling and you will find satisfaction. I believe that it is important for us to value to process. I heard a preacher say the other day to value the process to achieve our calling and purpose. I know that ultimitely our calling is defined as what you have been trained to do, I would argue that a calling is whatever you are purposed or have to do. Some become mothers unexpectedly, Some become pastors and hate it, some become teachers and loathe it. When you are truly called, you are thrust into something that is not necessarily conforatable, but you are good at.

I believe that while the last few years I have walked in the calling and purpose of the season in which I was in. I want to have a renewed passion. I believe that my problem has not been the "calling" that I was in, it was the passion or lack of that was the issue. To be passionate and to be called can become one in the same, you should be passionate about your call. You need to become passionate about the process. Passion is not something that you just have, it is something you gain as you become empathetic toward the purpose or cause. For example, when one person sees the starving children in Africa on television they may think to themselves that they want to do something and five mins. later that child and the country are both forgotten. take that same person to Africa and hand them a small starving child and they now may have a passion to help and to do something. Passion can be birthed through a vision. The bible states that "without a vision the people perish" I believe also true is without a vision passion dies. When we realize that when we truly become passionate that is when lives are changed. I know, that we say we want people saved but if we become passionate about it, lives will be changed and people will be saved. Find your purpose, passion and calling.

Shouldn't sweat it, but...

So every day we pretty much have the same morning and evening routines, we are not ready to get up and the kids are and we are ready for them to go to bed and they are not. It seems no matter what it is in life that children always want more, you give them a trip to the park and they never want to leave, you give them ice cream and they want more, you never are going to be done if you don't simply say "NO".

I love my girls and Lord knows there are days that I would just not have laughed without them but they are exhausting. My 5 year old has a tantilizing tone that she maintains in the wee morning hours, "I got to go potty!!!" as she shrieks this across our 850 square foot apartment every nerve in her father and I's entire body screams out in pain and annoyance. Why, you might ask does the child simply not go, well the gate is up, however I might add she still does this even when she has full access to the restroom. I take her to the restroom and drag my weary self from the bed, to the child, and put her back and try to steal a few more hours of sleep, but much to my shugrin, her father and I again feel our angry nerves when she, in the same tone, beckons, "I want something to eat!!!"

Alright we are currently trying to teach her the difference between wanting and asking. So put aside the fact that she is in a tone that is nearly unbearable at noon let alone 6 am., I am willing to put that aside, why are you telling me you want, ask me!!!!

Anyway as she makes these requests throughout the day, her favorite thing to ask after each need and desire is fufilled to her liking or to the extent in which she realizes I am going to and she asks, "What do I do now?" grrrrr. never satisified, always bored and ever wanting.

I realize in my frustration how annoying this is, however in reflection I realize that children are simply a reflection of the things in ourselves that annoy us. I always want more, money, time, sleep, etc. but on with life and the bills keep coming, the mornings get earlier and time keeps moving. I realize that one day she will be grown and gone and my mornings quiet, of course it will be then that I am unable to sleep past 5 am but hey who sweats the small stuff.