Faith, what a funny word. We have faith in a million things. Faith is defined as complete trust, firm belief without proof. WOW, what an amazing yet scary concept. Walk with me for a second, think about, if you are a christian you have Faith in God and this is a good thing. However faith in people is so often what makes us fall flat on our face. We hear have faith, have faith in the doctors, have faith in teachers, have faith in ourselves, as time goes by we lose the faith, we become frustrated with the faith in people, doctors are sometimes...don't punch me, wrong. My sister in law has heard from some doctors she may never concieve, she has two children and another on the way. My mother had cancer and was told that she may never recover, she is doing well and back to work. there are countless ways in which doctors are wrong. People will, not will probably, will, let us down. I went through a phase in ,life where I believed this, but I also felt that if people were going to let me down, then I would only depend on me and that did not seem to go well for me either. I slowly began to read the word and to gain an understanding that faith in God is much more dependable.
Over the last few years several things have happened that have shaken my faith and made me weary of the journey. I lost my battle with weight, became overwhelmed and began to lose one battle right after another, weight, anger and soon could hear myself yelling at my children and feeling like here I am this fat, faithless, witch. I wanted more. I watch the biggest loser, not the most spiritual show in the world, but none- the less has some great ideas. I remember once hearing one of the trainers say, I try to help people realize why they got fat and then I can help them get their lives back. I believe that is what Christ is doing in me, he is helping me realize why I got fat, faithless and mean, and helping me find myself. I want to be the young vibrant woman of God that he has called me to be. I just had to realize I needed to be inside out and right then it was not pretty because the inside was not.
